Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...

November 14, 2012

11:07am

California

 

So, I was just having some alone time and as I was reading one of my current books entitled “A Man Worth Waiting For: How to avoid a bozo” by Jackie Kendall, I was moved to write this blog.  In this book I am reading, it compares traits of Boaz (read the book of Ruth in the Bible to get more insight on the story), to traits of a modern day “bozo”.  No person on this Earth is perfect, so if you’re looking for a perfect person, well, keep watching Disney movies. But it’s really time to stop staying in these meaningless relationships/flings just to fill a void or “just to have fun.” It’s ridiculous. Been there, done that and it’s NOT what you want to do nor is it worth it.

 

I’m really over hearing the whining about not being able to find a good girl or a good boy. Often times, we aren’t even in the position to receive a “good” guy or girl if they were presented to us. Let me say personally, I was one of those whiners. I was that bitter female. I was that typical and simple minded female that just thought I knew how to keep a man. I just knew that the reason behind whatever relationship or fling that ended, had nothing to do with me. I just knew I had it all together. GIRL PLEASE.

It’s really important that we start examining ourselves before we even worry about getting into a relationship. Start making sure we are whole and stable enough to be in a real relationship.

LADIES, Stop blaming these guys for what YOU ALLOW. Stop expecting some “grown boy” to treat you right when you’ve seen one million and one red flags. If you decide to stay longer, then shame on you. Get your standards up, and know where and where not to compromise. Stop looking at these broken celebrity relationships, and start getting some real, worthy counsel and examples. We have to eventually stop making all these excuses. We have to stop sulking in our “loneliness” and REALLY truly work on us. Let God start molding you, so that when that right young MAN comes along, you will recognize him and are then able to be that WOMAN that will be a prized possession to him, not that girl that drives him absolutely crazy. We have a job too ladies. STOP worrying so much about finding a man. He needs to actively and effectively pursue you, so get you some business and a life, and consume your heart with Christ. Trust that HE will give you the desires of your heart and that HE knows what’s best for you. So, stop letting these relationships and flings make you bitter. Learn from them. Stop making the same mistakes, and start really guarding your heart! (Proverbs 4:23) Be happy. Smile. And rest! Work daily on a better you.

Also, Ladies, we have to stop beating the men down and build them up. We can’t expect them to grow if we are trying to be so independent. This isn’t to say, be needy. NO! But, definitely stop babysitting these young men because as THE MAN, they are expected to lead.  Stop stumping their growth of possessing those leadership qualities, by settling and not requiring that they step up to the plate. Make sure that this young man is submitted to Christ before you go falling head over hills. I know personally, from the experiences I’ve had, I will NOT be able to fathom the thought of submitting to a man that isn’t actively pursuing Christ. I need to be able to respect the man that I am thinking about being with. That is among one of the top characteristics I will examine. I don’t care how much you “say” you love Jesus or me, I should be able to see this through action. I should be able to see the fruit on your tree. (Galatians 5:22-23) Are we constantly talking about sex and straying away from Christ, or are we encouraging one another sincerely and pushing each other towards Christ?  How does this young man respond to conflict? How does this young lady respond to conflict?  How does he/she talk to you? How often does he/she keep their word? How has he/she shown to be trustworthy? Don’t be naïve. As I said before, often times we see red flags, but refuse to acknowledge them just because we “want to be loved.” Ha!

Take heed young men, women are lethal too! Ladies don’t be that one that the Bible warns these young men about either. (Proverbs 5:7-14, Proverbs 6:23-35, Proverbs 7, Proverbs 31:3) Also read the story of Samson and Delilah and the story of Jezebel.  There are so many examples in the Bible. Don’t be that promiscuous girl ladies. Stop it! Remember this: “The very downfall of a man can be in the very hands of a woman.”

Ladies: Desire to be a lady that a man truly respects. Desire to be that lady that a man knows is valuable. Desire to be a man’s wife and queen, not a boo thang or side piece. Gentlemen: Be that man that respects women.  Value yourself as a man to only want a woman that respects herself.  Stop leading girls on. There’s a quote that says: “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intentions of loving her.”

All in all, I just want to encourage everyone to embrace your single stage. Take this time to really let God do some work within you. Ask Him to make you more gentle. Ask Him to start implanting the fruits of the spirit within you, and start practicing them now. Water them and let them blossom and shine through you. Get rid of all that bitterness. Get rid of all that pride. Crash the pity parties and really truly work on being a better you. It’s so beneficial. It’s time to really grow up. Get some standards and keep them. Close your legs and stop opening legs and open your Bibles and some useful books.

Your time will come! Trust God and be patient.

 

Thirsty for more and more...of YOU

                9:03am

November 9, 2012

California

Currently Listening to Kierra Sheard: Desire

 

As I read my bible and such this morning, for some reason, one of the things that really stuck out to me was the very first verse from Psalm 63. It took me back to a few times when I didn’t really “feel” God’s presence, and I felt so empty. It took me back to the times when I couldn’t really pray, and I longed for that fire that I once felt to be ignited again.

Psalm 63:1 (King James Version) says: O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

Two other versions of this very verse, in simpler terms are:

Psalm 63:1 (New Living Translation) - O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1 (Amplified Bible)- O GOD, You are my God, earnestly will I seek you; my inner self thirsts for You, my flesh longs and is faint for You, in a dry and weary land where no water is.

Ok, take a journey with me real quick.  Envision yourself in the middle of a really hot desert, let’s say 100+ degrees, and you haven’t had anything to eat or drink for two weeks. No water, no bread, nothing. Imagine the sun just beaming down, no shade, no pools, no lakes, and no stores, no communication with anyone. Just YOU. That would really be horrible. After two weeks without at least some water, imagine how you would feel. I know I would be so weak, fragile, empty, drained, lonely, barely feeling like I can make it through another day or even wanting to, and let’s not forget just extremely emotional. I would probably just lay there and weep.

How many times have you felt like this with a fridge filled with beverages and food? How many times have you felt just empty? Lonely? Over everything?

This verse and entire Psalm just reminded me how often God has met me in the very place I was when I desperately seeked Him. How many times he has filled me up when I went to him pouring out and just being honest with Him about how empty or upset I felt. How many times I would just get into that quiet place and really just want more of Him despite how good my day was.

Just as I would desperately want and need food and water in that desert after two weeks, I want to always be desperate for that same refill from God daily. I want to continue to desire Him and just embrace being in His presence. His peace is overwhelming and surpasses all understanding.  (Philippians 4:7) It is an amazing feeling and the refill that he provides isn’t temporary. John 4:14 says:  But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

Life isn’t always the easiest. People aren’t always the nicest. Situations don’t always turn out how we want them to, but despite all that, GOD is still good and his love and comfort can completely wipe out any negative feelings. I just wanted to encourage everyone, the next time you are going through something, instead of running to a friend, or instead of seeking out some sort of void filler (sex, smoking, drinking, cursing someone out, etc.), SEEK God. I know there are times when the last thing you want to do is pray, but it is sooooo refreshing.  I’ve also experienced times where I couldn’t even pray because I was so heavy, but I can assure you God still stepped in. He can hear your heart’s cry, even if you can’t utter a word.  

God will meet you where you are. Give Him that opportunity. God bless you all and I pray that God will consume you with His love, joy, and peace.

Jeremiah 29:13 says “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 

 

 

Twitter: LadyDshay

Facebook: Alesha D’shay

There Has To Be More.

November 6, 2012

11:26am

California.

 

There has to come a time when you REALLY get tired of going in circles right? A time when you’re tired of falling into the same defeats? A time when you stop believing the lies? A time when you stop sweeping things under the rug? A time when you see that YOUR way of doing things just simply isn’t the route that needs to be taken? A time when you’re over having pity parties for yourself? A time when you really start desperately wanting a change? Right?

Personally, I have come to that point. I got tired of going to God about the same things knowing that I knew the answers. I got tired of trying to find the way on my own. I got tired of crying about the same situation that I continuously put myself in. I was just completely OVERWHELMED and I desperately wanted a change. I wanted something more. I wanted to elevate.

I knew that this wouldn’t happen until I got real with myself. I cut the pity parties. I stopped seeking counsel from people that I knew would entertain my foolishness and just tell me what I wanted to hear rather than what I needed to hear. I stopped blaming others, and really sat quiet and began to deal with myself. Whooooo that was not the easiest. Being able to clearly see and hear the things in my mind and heart. A MESS.  I surrended to God all over again and REALLY took my hands off the wheel and began to HONESTLY pour out to Him. “I AM A WRECK. I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY-LED. I’M IMPULSIVE. I’M TIRED OF CONTINUING TO GO BACK TO THESE THINGS THAT I KNOW DON’T PLEASE YOU. I’M TIRED OF ACTING LIKE I HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. I’M TIRED OF BACK SLIDDING. I’M TIRED OF LOOKING AT THIS PERSON AND THAT PERSON. I NEED HELP AND I WANT YOUR HELP. I DON’T WANT TO SEEK ANOTHER PERSON FOR GUIDANCE. I WANT YOU.”  It wasn’t a need to sugar-coat, He already knew, but I needed to know and be real about it. (Proverbs 15:3)

And it wasn’t until I REALLY surrendered, that He began to reveal himself. It wasn’t until I was ok with letting go, that He was then able to line better things up. It wasn’t until I was COMPLETELY honest, that THEN He was able to help me.

I know what it feels like to have things and people taken away. It’s not the best feeling in the world. But sometimes we hold on when we know it’s time to let go. We stay in relationships that we KNOW aren’t pleasing to God. We continue playing around with the same sins that we know are killing us spiritually, but we just can’t seem to stop.

So when is enough really enough? When do we stop running from the storms and processes and really let God break us and then mold us into sturdy treasures and vessels so that we can do His work?  When do we let God be our calm in the chaos? When do we really start loving God and not being so shallow in our repentance? When do we really start setting boundaries and not caring what others say or who won’t be pleased? When do we really realize how amazing God is and how faithful He has been and not use his grace as crutches? When do we let Him completely heal our broken hearts and then seek Him for our mate? When do we start REALLY wanting Him because of who He is even if we don’t get that promotion? That car? That career we dreamed about? When do we REALLY start wanting HIS will over ours?

I desire things, but I am fully aware that there are some doors that only by God’s grace and power will be opened. I don’t want to put God into any mess that I THINK is good for me, when really it could be a trap that satan is just making look good. I want what GOD has for me due to my obedience. (Psalm 34:15, Psalm 37:4-5) I don’t want to be just a hearer of God’s word, and not a doer. (Matthew 7:24-27) I don’t want to fall into the category of that double-minded man who is unstable in all his ways.(James 1:5-8) I don’t want to miss out on anymore of the things that God wants to lead me to just because I’m selfish, afraid, or just plain ignorant.

God is there. He’s always been there. We just need to decide when enough is really enough. We need to stop expecting God to “come through” and bless our mediocrity. We need to stop running from our convictions and really truly get disgusted with our sin. We need to stop getting offended and think people are “judging” us, when we know that what we’re doing is wrong. We need to stop having pity parties and REALLY let God purge us of the dirty things within. Let God truly renew our minds and heart. Really let God make us new creatures and get serious about pleasing Him above all else. Really let God restore us from our brokenness.

 

I want to go hard for God. I want to be bold and stand (whether that’s standing out from the norm or standing up period) for what I know is right. (Romans 12:1-2) I want to really love Him and show that through my actions. I want to be light in the dark places because HE shines through me. (Philippians 2:12-17). I’m NOTHING without Him. I want to seek the correct counsel. I want GOD to be my guide throughout the rest of this life. I want HIS blessings. I want HIS love to consume me. I want HIS intimacy. I want HIS best for me. I know that whatever HE leads me to, HE will bring me through. Now if satan leads me to something, I’m sure he’ll leave me high and dry and get a laugh out of how much I’m struggling trying to figure it out. Nah, homeboy, I’m done playing with you.

I know this journey will not always be easy, but I know I’m able to turn over all my worries to Him because he cares for me. (1 Peter 5:6-7) I know that I have to put on the full armor of God in order to fight back when attacks arise. (Ephesians 6: 10-17, 1 Peter 5:8-11) I know that when I get weary and burdened, that I can rest in Him. (Matthew 11:28) I know that when I am battling fear and doubt, I can cling to God for a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) I know where my help comes from, and I don’t want it from anywhere else. In Christ, I am COMPLETE. In Christ, I am WHOLE. In Christ, I have everything I need and more. He is my peace, He is my joy. He is my Father. He is my provider.  He is my guide. He is love. He is my entire life. (Psalms 18:30-32) Ahhhhhh. That’s so refreshing and I don’t want it any other way. Instead of being overwhelmed by my fickle emotions, I can be overwhelmed by all that God has to offer. Amazing!

I am not perfect, and I never will be. But in Him, through his grace and by faith, I am a new creature despite my past. (Ephesians 2:1-10). I will continue to press towards the mark, and focus on where I am headed. (Philippians 3:12-21, Proverbs 4:25-27)) There’s so much more to life than what I’ve settled for and thank GOD for another chance to really truly embrace it…THE RIGHT WAY. I spend time with God. I run to Him now before running to others. I wholeheartedly seek Him for direction with every single aspect of my life and I TRUST that He will lead me in the right direction. (Proverbs 3:5) I have learned patience. I have seen how He gives me strength when I ask. I can clearly see how He protects me and has protected me in the midst of my mess. I know Him and there’s not a single person on this Earth that can make me believe that I don’t. I don’t know everything, but I constantly pray for wisdom, for discernment, for clear vision, for guidance as to who I should go to about certain things (if anyone at all), and for preparation for whatever will come my way. When I’m obedient, He shows up. When I call out to Him, He answers and I could never thank Him enough.

Know that God is there. No matter how bad you’ve messed up, no matter what sin you’re struggling with, turn it over to Him and really let Him strip it from you. Stop defeating yourself before you even try. Speak positively. Claim that IN THE NAME OF JESUS, you are free from whatever and walk in that. Stop going back and really truly want a change. He can and will change you from the inside out if you let Him. God wants the best for us and His correction isn’t to keep us from “the good life.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Acknowledge that you can’t do it on your own and in your own strength and depend SOLELY on God to do so. (Galatians 3:3) Don’t give up. Keep praying and have complete faith that He will make you better. (Romans 5: 1-11, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24) Cut off all distractions (people, twitter, Facebook, cell phones, computers) and really just pour out to God and allow Him the time to pour back into you. Don’t run. Embrace it and know that He will be there with you every single step of the way. Some days will be harder than the others, but WITH HIM, you will make it through. Get some accountability partners. Get some people that can pray with and for you and start your process of change. It’s so worth it.

I have renewed my vows.  When will you?  (Isaiah 54:5)

 

YouTube video on this similar topic  made this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHWTzqvZc3E&feature=plcp

I am here for whoever needs to talk. I am completely transparent. God bless.

Twitter: LadyDshay

Facebook: Alesha D’shay

Email:Aleshadw12@gmail.com