There Has To Be More.

November 6, 2012

11:26am

California.

 

There has to come a time when you REALLY get tired of going in circles right? A time when you’re tired of falling into the same defeats? A time when you stop believing the lies? A time when you stop sweeping things under the rug? A time when you see that YOUR way of doing things just simply isn’t the route that needs to be taken? A time when you’re over having pity parties for yourself? A time when you really start desperately wanting a change? Right?

Personally, I have come to that point. I got tired of going to God about the same things knowing that I knew the answers. I got tired of trying to find the way on my own. I got tired of crying about the same situation that I continuously put myself in. I was just completely OVERWHELMED and I desperately wanted a change. I wanted something more. I wanted to elevate.

I knew that this wouldn’t happen until I got real with myself. I cut the pity parties. I stopped seeking counsel from people that I knew would entertain my foolishness and just tell me what I wanted to hear rather than what I needed to hear. I stopped blaming others, and really sat quiet and began to deal with myself. Whooooo that was not the easiest. Being able to clearly see and hear the things in my mind and heart. A MESS.  I surrended to God all over again and REALLY took my hands off the wheel and began to HONESTLY pour out to Him. “I AM A WRECK. I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY-LED. I’M IMPULSIVE. I’M TIRED OF CONTINUING TO GO BACK TO THESE THINGS THAT I KNOW DON’T PLEASE YOU. I’M TIRED OF ACTING LIKE I HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. I’M TIRED OF BACK SLIDDING. I’M TIRED OF LOOKING AT THIS PERSON AND THAT PERSON. I NEED HELP AND I WANT YOUR HELP. I DON’T WANT TO SEEK ANOTHER PERSON FOR GUIDANCE. I WANT YOU.”  It wasn’t a need to sugar-coat, He already knew, but I needed to know and be real about it. (Proverbs 15:3)

And it wasn’t until I REALLY surrendered, that He began to reveal himself. It wasn’t until I was ok with letting go, that He was then able to line better things up. It wasn’t until I was COMPLETELY honest, that THEN He was able to help me.

I know what it feels like to have things and people taken away. It’s not the best feeling in the world. But sometimes we hold on when we know it’s time to let go. We stay in relationships that we KNOW aren’t pleasing to God. We continue playing around with the same sins that we know are killing us spiritually, but we just can’t seem to stop.

So when is enough really enough? When do we stop running from the storms and processes and really let God break us and then mold us into sturdy treasures and vessels so that we can do His work?  When do we let God be our calm in the chaos? When do we really start loving God and not being so shallow in our repentance? When do we really start setting boundaries and not caring what others say or who won’t be pleased? When do we really realize how amazing God is and how faithful He has been and not use his grace as crutches? When do we let Him completely heal our broken hearts and then seek Him for our mate? When do we start REALLY wanting Him because of who He is even if we don’t get that promotion? That car? That career we dreamed about? When do we REALLY start wanting HIS will over ours?

I desire things, but I am fully aware that there are some doors that only by God’s grace and power will be opened. I don’t want to put God into any mess that I THINK is good for me, when really it could be a trap that satan is just making look good. I want what GOD has for me due to my obedience. (Psalm 34:15, Psalm 37:4-5) I don’t want to be just a hearer of God’s word, and not a doer. (Matthew 7:24-27) I don’t want to fall into the category of that double-minded man who is unstable in all his ways.(James 1:5-8) I don’t want to miss out on anymore of the things that God wants to lead me to just because I’m selfish, afraid, or just plain ignorant.

God is there. He’s always been there. We just need to decide when enough is really enough. We need to stop expecting God to “come through” and bless our mediocrity. We need to stop running from our convictions and really truly get disgusted with our sin. We need to stop getting offended and think people are “judging” us, when we know that what we’re doing is wrong. We need to stop having pity parties and REALLY let God purge us of the dirty things within. Let God truly renew our minds and heart. Really let God make us new creatures and get serious about pleasing Him above all else. Really let God restore us from our brokenness.

 

I want to go hard for God. I want to be bold and stand (whether that’s standing out from the norm or standing up period) for what I know is right. (Romans 12:1-2) I want to really love Him and show that through my actions. I want to be light in the dark places because HE shines through me. (Philippians 2:12-17). I’m NOTHING without Him. I want to seek the correct counsel. I want GOD to be my guide throughout the rest of this life. I want HIS blessings. I want HIS love to consume me. I want HIS intimacy. I want HIS best for me. I know that whatever HE leads me to, HE will bring me through. Now if satan leads me to something, I’m sure he’ll leave me high and dry and get a laugh out of how much I’m struggling trying to figure it out. Nah, homeboy, I’m done playing with you.

I know this journey will not always be easy, but I know I’m able to turn over all my worries to Him because he cares for me. (1 Peter 5:6-7) I know that I have to put on the full armor of God in order to fight back when attacks arise. (Ephesians 6: 10-17, 1 Peter 5:8-11) I know that when I get weary and burdened, that I can rest in Him. (Matthew 11:28) I know that when I am battling fear and doubt, I can cling to God for a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) I know where my help comes from, and I don’t want it from anywhere else. In Christ, I am COMPLETE. In Christ, I am WHOLE. In Christ, I have everything I need and more. He is my peace, He is my joy. He is my Father. He is my provider.  He is my guide. He is love. He is my entire life. (Psalms 18:30-32) Ahhhhhh. That’s so refreshing and I don’t want it any other way. Instead of being overwhelmed by my fickle emotions, I can be overwhelmed by all that God has to offer. Amazing!

I am not perfect, and I never will be. But in Him, through his grace and by faith, I am a new creature despite my past. (Ephesians 2:1-10). I will continue to press towards the mark, and focus on where I am headed. (Philippians 3:12-21, Proverbs 4:25-27)) There’s so much more to life than what I’ve settled for and thank GOD for another chance to really truly embrace it…THE RIGHT WAY. I spend time with God. I run to Him now before running to others. I wholeheartedly seek Him for direction with every single aspect of my life and I TRUST that He will lead me in the right direction. (Proverbs 3:5) I have learned patience. I have seen how He gives me strength when I ask. I can clearly see how He protects me and has protected me in the midst of my mess. I know Him and there’s not a single person on this Earth that can make me believe that I don’t. I don’t know everything, but I constantly pray for wisdom, for discernment, for clear vision, for guidance as to who I should go to about certain things (if anyone at all), and for preparation for whatever will come my way. When I’m obedient, He shows up. When I call out to Him, He answers and I could never thank Him enough.

Know that God is there. No matter how bad you’ve messed up, no matter what sin you’re struggling with, turn it over to Him and really let Him strip it from you. Stop defeating yourself before you even try. Speak positively. Claim that IN THE NAME OF JESUS, you are free from whatever and walk in that. Stop going back and really truly want a change. He can and will change you from the inside out if you let Him. God wants the best for us and His correction isn’t to keep us from “the good life.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Acknowledge that you can’t do it on your own and in your own strength and depend SOLELY on God to do so. (Galatians 3:3) Don’t give up. Keep praying and have complete faith that He will make you better. (Romans 5: 1-11, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24) Cut off all distractions (people, twitter, Facebook, cell phones, computers) and really just pour out to God and allow Him the time to pour back into you. Don’t run. Embrace it and know that He will be there with you every single step of the way. Some days will be harder than the others, but WITH HIM, you will make it through. Get some accountability partners. Get some people that can pray with and for you and start your process of change. It’s so worth it.

I have renewed my vows.  When will you?  (Isaiah 54:5)

 

YouTube video on this similar topic  made this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHWTzqvZc3E&feature=plcp

I am here for whoever needs to talk. I am completely transparent. God bless.

Twitter: LadyDshay

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Email:Aleshadw12@gmail.com